“This is where I had a purpose” – Capt. Montgomery Scott

I have an honest confession for all of you.  I am a sci-fi geek.  I was raised watching the original Star Trek with my dad.  I enjoyed all the characters from the original series, but one in particular was my favorite.  The hard-working miracle worker, Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott (Scotty).  There was something special about him that made me smile.

Many years later when they started The Next Generation I saw they did an homage to the original series by bringing in some of the original cast for guest appearances.  Of those, my favorite was an episode entitled “Relics”.

The crew of the new Enterprise find a crashed Federation ship and go in to investigate.  There they discover that the transporter has been jerry-rigged as a type of life boat for the only survivor, Captain Scott, Retired.

Scotty shows his usual enthusiasm for anything related to engineering and steps in to help Lt. LaForge.  Unfortunately, 75 years have elapsed since the last time Scotty has worked on a warp engine and Scotty isn’t able to be the miracle-worker in engineering.

A dejected Scotty finds himself in the holodeck with a bottle of alien whiskey asking to be shown the bridge of the original Enterprise.

He is soon joined by Captain Picard and as they speak Scotty expresses what he’s feeling.

Scotty: “I don’t belong on your ship.  I belong on this one. (Meaning the holographic ship they’re on) This was my home.  This is where I had a purpose.  But it’s not real.  It’s just a computer generated fantasy. (sighs)  And I’m just an old man who’s trying to hide in it.  Computer, shut this bloody thing off.  It’s time I acted my age.”

He leaves with Picard looking at Scotty with compassion in his eyes.

Later Picard asks LaForge about some data that they needed to acquire from Scotty’s crashed ship.  Picard suggests that Scotty would be helpful in obtaining the information and asks LaForge to personally assist with this task as well.  Picard makes his request with this statement:

“Look, this is not an order.  It’s a request and one that you must feel perfectly free to decline.  You see, one of the most important things in a persons’ life is to feel useful.  Now, Mr. Scott is a Starfleet Officer and I would like him to feel useful again.”

I won’t post any spoilers for those who’ve not seen this but now want to. The upshot is by LaForge engaging Scotty in an area where he’s useful and taking some time to allow himself to be mentored by a more experienced engineer they both gain and grow from the experience.  In the end Scotty is able to show he still deserves the title of ‘Miracle-Worker’.

This episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation demonstrated one of the things I always appreciated about this and the original Star Trek.  The way they took on real life issues in the fantasy world of space travel.

We all need to feel useful.  We all need to feel like our lives have meaning.  We all need a purpose to give us a reason to get up in the morning.

As our loved ones get older and are no longer able to be as independent as they were it is easy for them to become depressed.  We need to acknowledge the impact they’ve made in our lives and in the world.  We need to let them know they still have a purpose in our lives and the world.  Even sharing their stories and things they’ve learned through experience will enrich the community around them.

Engage with the seniors in your family.  Encourage them in the ways they still make a difference and have a purpose.  Tell them how much their presence in your life enriches it.

Change their statement of “This is where I HAD a purpose.” to “This is where I HAVE a purpose”

As an interesting side note, James Doohan who played Scotty, died just over a decade after this episode was filmed.  He died from Alzheimer’s disease.

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If your days on Earth were numbered, what would you want to do most?

This question is sometimes talked about, but when push comes to shove what would you really like to do as your time comes to an end?

For most of us it would involve an activity we enjoyed, perhaps where we felt the most peaceful within ourselves and with the world.

This Vietnam vet requested to do just that … he wanted to go fishing one last time.   I’m sure it took some inventive thinking and extra effort on the part of this man’s family, friends and caregivers but they made sure it happened for him.

Why?  Why do this?  Simply for this reason: make every moment count.  Take every day you have whether 1 or 100,000 or 1 million and find joy in the living of that day.

Gone Fishin’

How can you do a job like that? I could NEVER do something like that!

love best medicine

When I began my journey as a caregiver I had people asking me how I could do such a thing, that they would never be able to do that.  They wanted to know how I could stand to see to the most personal needs of my father and then grandfather.  They couldn’t understand how I could find the compassion and patience to spend 30 to 45 minutes feeding my dad four or five times a day.

The simple answer is they’re family and that’s what family does.  The deeper explanation is, they did it for me.  From the time I was born my family has been there caring for me.  THEY changed my diapers.  THEY fed me.  THEY dressed me.  THEY bathed me.  I spit up and threw up on THEM.  I bled on THEM.  When I cried THEY comforted me.  THEY taught me, loved me and encouraged me.  How can I not reciprocate when THEIR time of need comes?

To that people will often concede the point but now that I have lost both Dad and Grandpa they ask why I continue to do this for strangers.

The honest truth is two-fold.  First of all, once I meet the people I am charged with providing care for they are no longer strangers.  They become surrogate family members.  I care for who they are as a person.  I try to learn about who they are, what makes them happy and how to encourage them.   They often have as much of a positive influence on my life as I hopefully have on theirs.

Second, I think of all the people outside of my family who had an impact on who I am today … teachers, neighbors, family friends, camp counselors, clergy, and random strangers providing random acts of kindness.  Most of these people are no longer in my life, but each of the people I care for were the teachers, neighbors, family friend, camp counselor, clergy or random stranger providing random acts of kindness for someone else.  So in my mind, in some odd concept of karma or whatever way you’d put it, I am returning the favor to a stranger in hopes that someone else is doing the same for those non-family members who had a positive influence on my life.

I have another reason for doing what I do.  I have seven wonderful nephews and four awesome nieces.   I believe the best way to show the future generation how to be compassionate, active, caring adults is by example.  I hope that by demonstrating to them how we should care for our family and strangers that I will have done my part to make the future just that much brighter.

So, to answer the question “How can I do something like what I do?”

I do it joyfully with hope, compassion and love.

If your days on Earth were numbered, what would you want to do most?

This question is sometimes talked about, but when push comes to shove what would you really like to do as your time comes to an end?

For most of us it would involve an activity we enjoyed, perhaps where we felt the most peaceful within ourselves and with the world.

This Vietnam vet requested to do just that … he wanted to go fishing one last time.   I’m sure it took some inventive thinking and extra effort on the part of this man’s family, friends and caregivers but they made sure it happened for him.

Why?  Why do this?  Simply for this reason: make every moment count.  Take every day you have whether 1 or 100,000 or 1 million and find joy in the living of that day.

Gone Fishin’

Christmas Traditions

good memory

When I saw this meme I was taken back to my childhood and my memories of Christmas.  We had wonderful traditions that centered around time spent with family.   Sure, as kids we got presents from grandparents, aunts, uncles, our parents and Santa, but if you ask me about the presents I couldn’t really give you specifics.  I can tell you about the time spent making memories with my whole extended family.

Our Christmas would start by going to a midnight church service on Christmas Eve.  After church we would migrate to our dad’s parent’s house for a potato pancake breakfast.  There we would play with our cousins, rough house with Grandpa and perhaps watch Christmas specials on VHS.  There would be lots of laughter and fun.

Around 3 AM we would stagger home with our parents telling us that we were not allowed to get them up before 7 AM.  (They, of course, still had to play Santa.)

Seven AM on the dot would have us sending the youngest in to wake Mom and Dad.  We would have our own Christmas at home with us four kids and Mom and Dad.  Eventually Mom and Dad would go to have a nap and we would spend a blissful morning and early afternoon playing together.

About mid afternoon we would head over to Mom’s parent’s house for an early dinner.  Once again there was lots of laughter and fun.  We would play with our cousins.  Aunts and uncles would often join in with the insanity.  There were presents, but mostly I remember the boisterous antics of the time spent together as a family.

I used to look forward to Christmas for those times.  I still look forward to it because it offers a chance for me to make this time special for the next generation the way it was for me.

I have since lost all of my grandparents, sometimes I wish we could have just one more Christmas together.  Since we cannot, I take solace in the good memories they left and work to follow in their example.